Over it...

I am SO over my attitude lately, but I just can't seem to pull myself out of this horrible slump that I'm in. And I can't seem to catch a break.

I went to get my taxes done today and found out not only do I NOT get money back this year, I owe, AND I had to pay them $150 to tell me that!!! Last year I had someone else do it, and I think it cost me like fifty bucks, and I got almost $900 back. I cannot catch a break. I'm not working, I'm trying to hold on to every penny I have and am failing miserably. I'm scrambling around, applying to every place I can think of so that I can get a paycheck again, and have heard back from NO ONE.

I've had a headache/stomachache for 5 days now. And no amount of aspirin is helping. So I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm in pain, and I'm emotional. Fuck my husband's life. I have to be absolutely unbearable to be around right now. I know I am, and I can't do anything about it. I'm trying to relax, but at the same time I'm so worried about everything I can't.

My husband is at the range this whole week, before he leaves to go on workups again. I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone. Not just for the workups, but on his deployment. I'm not doing as well down here as we both hoped that I would. I've still got some time to settle in and make friends and stuff. But I'm just not feeling very optimistic about it right now.

I don't know what to do. I'm just completely over myself and all of these issues I'm having. I just want to be happy and to make my husband happy and I don't know how to do either.

I'm so lost...